archives :: humor
stiletto
SO ANDREW SULLIVAN'S new book is called The Conservative Soul. And who better to comment on so weighty a topic? Sullivan, after all, truly embodies the soul of conservatism--if by conservatism one means solipsism. [read more]
nocturne
I find myself in an arena, filled with people of every description. (Except that most all are white.) The air hangs thick with a self-righteous smugness, which to my surprise has a distinct odor: sharp, and rather like that of vegan cheese left long in the sun. [read more]
youthful aspirations
A month back, my nephew Josiah graduated from preschool. There was a ceremony (to think I used to believe such things only started in kindergarten), even complete with gowns and mortarboards. And photos, of course. Below the fold is one... [read more]
a legend, reconsidered
It is said that once, when Boromir and Faramir were young boys, Faramir beaned his elder brother with a helm so hard that--in Ioreth's words--Boromir was thereafter "slower than treacle in midwinter". Faramir never forgave himself. [read more]
out of many, many
For European federalists, 2005 is going to be a very long year (via Brothers Judd). Opinion polls suggest that Britain, which will hold its referendum in March 2006, is the most likely to reject the constitution, followed by Poland, the... [read more]
famous
I—or rather my feet—have been immortalized in the Foot Fetishist's Guide to the Blogosphere. The backdrop of the Witch-king of Angmar was Jeff's inspiration. Disclaimers: Not Birkenstocks. Børn. Birks are for Volvo-drivers, what with their pansy-soft rubber soles and... [read more]
"a most illogical holiday"
John Scalzi's masterful The Ten Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time has already been widely linked. Yet to my mind, the case of the lost Star Trek Christmas episode has not received its due emphasis. Mr. Spock, with... [read more]
nous sommes tous Jacksoniens
The hell with it. Here's my victory post: “I'm George W. Bush, and I approved this message.” Congratulations, Mr. President. MORE, via Orrin Judd: One of America's leading conservative intellectuals, Professor Francis Fukuyama, said Mr Bush's victory foreshadowed an increasingly... [read more]
"A blog about the most important issue of all time, ever"
I should warn that reading too much of this site will have a deleterious effect on your IQ. I think mine plunged about twenty points in as many minutes. It was fun, though. Thankfully, Rand Simberg was not referring to... [read more]
shamelessly partisan interlude
This is not the longish and thoughtful post that I promised last night. But some things just demand priority. Like a caged hamster, Senator John Kerry is restless on the road. He pokes at the perimeter of the campaign bubble... [read more]
be frightened. be very frightened.
Jeff Goldstein is a bad, bad man. And my hero. UPDATE: More Moore.... [read more]
deep thoughts
Remember SNL's Jack Handey? Here's a few classics: Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he... [read more]
welcome to Indiana
I have yet to see a live cicada, and so far only a few carcasses have shown up on the neighborhood sidewalks. But apparently elsewhere in Bloomington they are more numerous. A man who cooked and ate nearly 30 cicadas... [read more]
gnostic trivial pursuit
My good friend Tim Collins is a man of many talents: physicist, scholar, and occasional artist. Unfortunately, although his cartoon page is available, the image files currently are not. But his collection of quotes is worth the visit. If... [read more]
be your own focus group
It's the Kerry Sloganator! Go make your own here. And don't miss the gallery. But I'm not done yet. With apologies to Ace, here are my Top Ten Alternative Kerry Campaign Slogans 10. I am tall, I contain multitudes 9.... [read more]
bitterness
Yesterday my good friend Dean sent a link to despair.com. One good turn deserves another, so I'm passing it along. Here's one of my favorite images: Also not to be missed: Mistakes and Fear. (But if you're at all depressed,... [read more]
the pirates of provincetown
Back when I was an undergrad, most of my friends were music majors. Several of them performed in a university production of Gilbert and Sullivan's The Pirates of Penzance. A good thing, too: else I would not now be able... [read more]
quotes of the week
Over at Moviehole, Mel Gibson speculates on his future as an action hero: He laughs when asked how much money he still gets offered for a new Lethal Weapon. “Ah, good question. I’m too old and I can’t deal with... [read more]
britney 'n' madonna, 2004
Okay, so really it's two guys named John. But geez. (Via The Corner.)... [read more]
please oh please oh please
And given a day to reflect, I must reluctantly conclude that this is the scream, not of a man being goosed by a porcupine, but rather of a sorry little ex-governor inadvertently sticking a fork into his presidential aspirations. [read more]
blood on the floor
So much for my predictions. But at least I'm having a better night than this guy. And the networks are now reporting that Dick “Miserable Failure” Gephardt will drop out tomorrow (no links yet). End of distinguished public service career,... [read more]
exchange of the day
Also in today's WaPo is an interview of sorts with Ann Coulter. Me: Right. Okay, which do you prefer, dogs or cats? Ann: I prefer cat. Dog gives me acid reflux. Oh, I'm sorry — you mean as a pet?... [read more]
Ott lands a scoop
A Scrappleface exclusive: Asked how he's dealing with the withering criticism from Tolkien fans, Mr. Jackson bristled: “I can't live my life trying to satisfy the purists. What do these people want? We spent months shooting that car chase, and... [read more]
you're a geek when...
…this is your plan for becoming a babe magnet: But you can't customize window borders and friends based on the window properties like you can in Sawfish (“Matched Windows”). So all your windows always have the same titlebar and border.... [read more]
oops
Jonah Goldberg quotes this correction from The Cleveland Plain Dealer. Because of an editing error, a story on the front page yesterday misattributed a quote from the speaker on an audiotape purportedly of Saddam Hussein as coming from Senate Minority... [read more]
Scotland forever!
Or, yet more evidence that the EU bureaucracy is a burgeoning menace: Officials from Europe have backed down over a decision to classify the kilt as “womenswear” on official forms. The questionnaires, sent to Scottish firms by EU statistical agency... [read more]
life imitates...The Simpsons
I just saw this episode in reruns a couple of weeks back. From Canada's National Post: An Oregon scientist inspired by Homer Simpson has successfully created “tomacco” — a tomato plant that contains nicotine. … Mr. Baur says the... [read more]
