nasty trickses

I'm still playing catch-up with the news—last week of teaching and all that—but one would have to be distracted indeed to miss the signs of John Kerry's forthcoming implosion. Our occasional guest blogger Doug Heinz tells me that his Democratic acquaintances in California are already despondent.

Why? Well, this could be Exhibit A:

Matthews: “If there was an exaggeration of WMD, exaggeration of the danger, exaggeration implicitly of the connection to al Qaeda and 9/11, what's the motive for this, what's the 'why?' Why did Bush and Cheney and the ideologues around take us to war? Why do you think they did it?”

Kerry: “It appears, as they peel away the weapons of mass destruction issue, and —we may yet find them, Chris. Look, I want to make it clear: Who knows if a month from now, two months from now, you find some weapons. You may. But you certainly didn't find them where they said they were, and you certainly didn't find them in the quantities that they said they were. And they weren't found, and I have talked to some soldiers who have come back who trained against the potential of artillery delivery, because artillery was the way they had previously delivered and it was the only way they knew they could deliver. Now we found nothing that is evidence of that kind of delivery, so the fact is that as you peel it away I think it comes down to this larger ideological and neocon concept of fundamental change in the region and who knows whether there are other motives with respect to Saddam Hussein, but they did it because they thought they could, and because they misjudged exactly what the reaction would be and what they could get away with.”

I dare you to read that answer again—all 189 words—and tell me just what the hell the Senator is trying to say.

Give up? Then click here.

In the meantime, let's move on to Exhibit B.

On the Friday before his MEET THE PRESS appearance, Dem presidential hopeful John Kerry flew his Washington, DC hairdresser to Pittsburgh for a touch-up, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.

Cristophe stylist Isabelle Goetz, who handles Kerry's hair issues, made the trek to Pittsburgh, campaign sources reveal.

“Her entire schedule had to be rearranged,” a top source explains.

A Kerry campaign spokesman refuses to clarify if Goetz flew by private jet on April 16 or on the official Kerry For President campaign plane.

The total expense for the hair touch-up is estimated to be more than $1000, insiders tell DRUDGE.

Mark my words: before this summer is old, some disaffected Democrat somewhere will begin popularizing the slogan Vote for the Pr*ck: It's Important.

Finally, if you're puzzled about the title of this post: Go read Frank J.

Things are looking pretty dour for John Kerry right now, and everything he does seems to make it worse. First there is his attempt to hold two simultaneous but conflicting positions like being for and against the war, for and against funding the troops, etc. He won't even need Bush for the Presidential debates; he could just do them Gollum style, making a statement, and then rebutting vehemently right after.

“We must fund the troops in Iraq!”

Camera angle on Kerry changes. “No! I hateses funding the nasty troopses!”

(Link via InstaPundit.)